Too many people made rich fast by venture capital. Every stage set built to parade Arab royalty and Internet boy wonders. An ice sculpture and a champagne fountain and a band in white dinner jackets playing some Cole Porter tune. Every night, another stage set made of South American cut flowers and zillions of white twinkle lights. Imagine going to your senior prom every night for the rest of your life. A cocktail party and silent auction for irritable bowel syndrome. They threw a dinner dance for massive head trauma. They hosted a banquet for people blown apart by land mines. It used to be not a dolphin died in a tuna net without them rushing out to write a check. Keyes-Packer and Evelyn-they didn't use to be this way. It's called Cocooning, when your home becomes your whole world.
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You get a glass tank, put it where the TV used to be, and all you get is a lizard-something so stupid that every time the maid moves a rock the lizard thinks it's been relocated miles away. Or getting into a cab with the radio turned up loud. You get all this just glancing at a newsstand.
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The social advocates claiming the city has put out a hit on panhandlers.
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An aquarium, you flip the switch for the heat lamp and it's not going to tell you another transient wino was shot to death, his body dropped in the river, the fifteenth victim in a killing spree targeting the city's homeless, their bodies found stabbed and shot and set on fire with lighter fluid, the street people panicked and fighting their way into the shelters at night, despite the new tuberculosis. Where the television used to be, there on the kitchen counter, she put an aquarium with the kind of lizard that changes color to match your decor. You order just one single miracle shoe-tree over the telephone, and every week, for the rest of your life, you'll get a stack of catalogues. You never know when the headline will be: She doesn't even take off the rubber band. The newspaper comes, and she just recycles it. Show her a copy of Vogue magazine, and Mrs.
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It's true, that first hour awake, you want to catch up with the rest of the world. After you give up television and newspapers, the mornings are the worst part: that first cup of coffee.